Friday, February 26, 2010


via Josh Levi:

RENE HELL (Iowa City, IA)
CABOLADIES (Lexington, KY)
DRIPHOUSE (New York City, NY)

ST. LOUIS, MO 63118
9PM || $3-5 || BYOB

RENE HELL: Jeff Witscher known for Deep Jew, Secret Abuse, Impregnable, Abelar Scout
"Over the past 6 years, Jeff Witscher has released dozens of tapes, CD-Rs, and records on many different labels under a dizzying number of monikers. His early projects, e.g. Rainbow Blanket, Roman Torment, Impregnable, Secret Abuse, Deep Jew, etc. tended to focus on the harsher side of noise, power electronics, and hardcore. By contrast, most of Jeff’s recent output as Marble Sky, Abelar Scout, Disfigure Mare, etc. has taken a turn towards the ethereal end of the spectrum, offering up blissful, layered ambient and drone pieces. In the past 10 months, Jeff played two sets live in the KRUI studio as Marble Sky and Rene Hell." - KRUI

(releases on Arbor, Mountain, Digitalis...) Enter the new age bounce movement. Swirling electronics over fatty bass blips. For fans of Black Dice.

DRIPHOUSE: Daren Ho of Raccoo-oo-oon. Electric spiritual wanderings in the world of wonders.

ARYAN CRINGE: Josh Levi of Bikini Acid, Worm Hands

FB Invite:!/event.php?eid=320689367837&ref=ts




FB invite:!/event.php?eid=353817420394&ref=ts

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Regional Chips.

I knew that occasionally I send my brother bags of Red Hot Riplets in the mail and also when I fly home, but it wasn't til I went to fly back to STL that I realized that I also like to travel back with regional chips for myself. But we'll get to that after we're done talking about Old Vienna's Red Hot Riplets. Their site is barer than bare bones, but good ol wikipedia has a page on em. Apparently you can buy them on the Sam's Club website.

They are delicious and the spiciness is the kind that sneaks up on you, when you think to yourself, "oh, [insert name of friend/uncle that recommended you try them]'s a wimp on spicy food, they're not that bad...look I've eaten a handful and nothing!" *stuff stuff stuff more into face* "...hoo! okay, maybe I spoke too soon, I mean, at first they just sorta tasted like BBQ chips but now I think maybe my mouth and forehead are sweating in tandem..." I love it when spicy foods evoke masochism in people. Always go back for more.

Now onto my OC obsession: HAVE'A CORN is a scan of my own most recently obliterated bag:

There's a nice article that the OC WEEKLY did on them, that starts out with "Have'a Corn Chips have nothing to hide. The translucent bag lets you see the tantalizing, soy-stained product within. Its packaging states, on both front and back, that the only ingredients are corn, soybean oil, soy sauce and a dash of lime. These chips are a pure and uncomplicated snack with no smarmy ad campaign, and they’re one of the county’s best-selling homegrown snacks." and then goes on to talk about how mysterious the people behind them are. I don't care, I just love them. When I went searching for pictures, I actually found and considered buying them in bulk through for my own personal use. I should ask Alejandro to bring me some on Friday.

Of course they posted the most awkward picture ever

Ali looks bored/uncomfortable, and I'm checking my iPhone or texting or something, oh man, we look like we did a bad job wearing these dresses for our friend Bridget Kraft that made them. At least she and her showmates enjoyed a nice writeup by SLM Look/Listen arts blog.

I like my pictures from the event better:

Except that I was letting Bridget do her own thing and didn't get any pictures of her brick dress or makeup, had to keep my phone in my boot while we ended up in conversations with so many of her teachers and friends and fans because we were wearing her work.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Feb-BOO-ary...aka I finally put up my Halloween pics

The ninja entered the party crouched up on a wall with a SMOKEBOMB. I know who he is, but he may not want me to reveal his identity. He's pretty secret like that. Oh yeah, and his sword was real.

We all listened to the Misfits' "Halloween" on repeat until they kicked us out of the house, then we put it on outside over the speakers of the PARTY VAN. I can't believe my camera was just a moment too late for ninja friend jumping over shaved male patterned baldness friend on tiny bike. Damn.


Blowjob Face

It's Runaways singer Cherie Curie. Can't remember where the photo came from.

Serge Gainsbourg + Jane Birkin + Sylvie Vartan

I read that this is a "Pretty rare original version (and video from the tv show) of this song,it also appeared recently on a Sylvie Vartan compilation (in a slighty different version). Penned by Gainsbourg at the request of Vartan who wanted to do some duets for tv, but who he doubted would sing any of his songs since 'she wasn't that kind of girl', it became a trio with Birkin and got televised in the Carpentier show in 1972.Gainsbourg was very pleased Vartan didn't ask him to change any lyrics! I can only say bravo to Serge for penning this..."

I looked up the lyrics and the rough translation is kinda funny, the song is called "Girls Have No Disgust" and I apologize in advance for the weird french english running together thing:
Jane Birkin
oh c'qui l'est moche oh it's who is ugly
avec son pif et ses poches pif and with his pockets
sous ses yeux blasés under his eyes jaded

Sylvie Sylvie
oh quel physique oh how physical
toujours son p'tit air cynique still her little cynical air
et jamais rasé and never shaved

Serge Gainsbourg Serge Gainsbourg
oui mais les filles n'ont aucun dégoût yes but girls have no disgust
pour l'amour celui des sous to love the sub
elles se vautrent dans la boue they wallow in mud
les filles n'ont aucun dégoût girls have no disgust
j'ai qu'une sale gueule j'suis qu'un voyou I have a dirty mouth I'm a thug
mais elles se pendent toutes à mon cou but they all hang around my neck

Jane Birkin Jane Birkin
ah quel sale gueule Oh how ugly mug
elle suffirait à elle seule suffice it alone
à nous écœurer nauseates us

Sylvie Sylvie
ah cette façon de ah this way
toujours se foutre du monde always fuck the world
sans cesser de fumer without quitting

Serge Gainsbourg Serge Gainsbourg
mais les n'ont aucun dégoût but have no disgust
pour l'amour celui des sous to love the sub
elles se vautrent dans la boue they wallow in mud
les filles n'ont aucun dégoût girls have no disgust
j'ai une sale gueule j'suis qu'un voyou I have a dirty mouth I'm a thug
mais elles se pendent toutes à mon cou but they all hang around my neck

[DL it HERE]

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ça Plane Pour Moi vs Jet Boy, Jet Girl

I thought I was pretty punk in high school, but then I moved to STL in 2004 and went out (underage...) and I thought I was hearing one of my fave songs that was kinda punk even though it was a new wave Belgium dude that sang the song...but it had something about whiskey and the rock n roll life being for him, but I was taken aback when the lyrics were "she gives me head" WTF...I don't even know if this story makes any sense...I am not sleeping enough lately.

Plastic Bertrand aka the one I learned first:

Next and last is Elton Mortello's "Jet Boy, Jet Girl" aka this blew my mind when I heard it at age 18 in the same kind of way that like, a dude that is being a total asshole to you while still hitting on you feel kinda like you wanna walk away, but also kinda turned on but you don't know why (because what an asshole, right?!) and so you just resort to feigned shock and "offense" even though you love the vulgarity. Masochism at its best.

Oooookay, I think today is gonna be a weird day. That metaphor was weird even for me...I'm a little sleep deprived from the PST LDR.

PS- In case you wanted to see the lyrics to the plastic bertrand version, for some reason I found it [HERE]


Yet another single topic least it's funny the first few times?


Here are some gems, and i like that you can vote "awwwkkwarrrrd" or "that's just funny/cute" or both because it's more simple than commenting, and it provides instant gratification. Onto the gems:

"Last year, while I was at Comic-Con, a random guy tried to convince me to give him a hand-job while wearing a Nintendo Power Glove."

"Yesterday, I walked in on my roommate with his dick in one hand and a stop-watch in the other."

"I was riding my man last night, and he asked me to go "reverse cowgirl" for him, as I lifted my leg to turn trying to be all sexy, I definitely let one rip. oops"

I don't believe that this happened. Maybe.:
"Yesterday, I walked in on my aunt and uncle doing it to the Eye of the Tiger. my aunt screaming "you rock mah world!"

"Last night, I hooked up with a cougar. During the sex, she said, 'Oh yeah, fuck me like my first husband.'"

This is why I'm married to Ksteg on fb:

"Today, I agreed to go on a date with a guy. An hour later, I had a relationship request on Facebook."

"Last night, I was going down on my girlfriend underneath the covers of her bed when her little sister walked in. She asked what I was doing under there and my girlfriend said "ssshhh he's hiding." Her sister said "I wanna play!" and came and "hid" with me."

"Yesterday, I walked in on my brother brushing the hair of a blow-up doll."

"This morning I woke up with a citation from the police in my pocket that read 'Public sex on a swing set.'"

"Last night, while having sex with my boyfriend, he talked dirty the entire time in the third person."

"Today, my boyfriend kept putting his hand over my butt and asking me to fart on it so that he could "catch the magic with his hand." I'm not a fucking unicorn."

Today, my dad explained to me that if I really want a girl to like me, I have to be good at "eating pussy."
(your dad's right)

"Yesterday, I found bestiality under my sister's web history."
(haha true story: a few years ago when i inherited my bro's laptop I typed something in and it autofilled to "burns when i pee")

Last night, this girl hit on me by saying "If you could see my vagina, it would be winking at you." At least, I think she was hitting on me.

Today, I received my first prostate exam. Apparently, the doctor applied too much pressure because I came everywhere.

Today, my uncle got drunk and walked around to all my cousins holding the mistletoe above his crotch asking them for a kiss.

Last night, a hook-up told me I had the sweetest tasting pussy. I pretended to be asleep.

Today, I went to the Gyno for my yearly pap. He happens to be so hott, so I was really wet to begin with, but when he was checking down there with his finger I accidentally let out a moan.
omg hand over mouth

Today, after finishing in my girlfriends mouth, she spit it out on my ass. Turning around pissed off, I said what the fuck?! She replied, "now you know how I feel."

Last week, my friends thought it would be funny to switch my mom's phone # with my girlfriend's phone # in my cell phone. Seeing how I haven't talked to my mom in a week, I'm guessing she got the penis pictures.

Last night, while I was getting busy with my boyfriend, I told him that I loved him for the first time. He immediately went soft.

^not the same outcome but has happened to me and the sex had to be interrupted instead of pretending that didn't happen :(

Last night, I hooked up with a vegetarian. She refused to give me a blow job.

Today, my grandma tried to explain to me that oral sex was much different in her day. I hope she has alzheimer's.

Last night, I saw my first uncircumsized penis. It reminded me of Alf.

Last night, I saw my high school sweet heart on TV. He was on Dateline NBC “To Catch a Predator.”

Last night, as I was having sex with my artistic boyfriend he reached for a sharpie and said hold on. Still riding him, he slowly but in great detail drew my face on my own ass.

Last night, my girlfriend and I got high before having sex. She told me I felt like a unicorn.

ok now I read too many and they're depressing and not funny anymore. Goodnight.



I almost cried a little when I saw this pup. The captions don't even matter because duh it's pictures of PUPPIES!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Nite Jewel - Lover

I'm kind of obsessed with her right now. Don't you want to live inside this music video? I was going to make a joke about having signed a lease to live in there but it wasn't looking right. It's a Roxy Music cover. I probably missed this fucking show cuz I was in the fuggin hospital. No fair.



I think I might buy the la tshirt with the capitol building and palm trees on it. It's only $11.


Um so I really want to be able to enjoy this song/video more...but I have a major issue with the ligatures and kerning problems going on (see :45 how all the letters are running together? WTF didn't anyone edit this video!??!) because I don't think that was on purpose. Woe is me. I think the only reason I like this song is because it's about surfing, actually.


Meanwhile, a lesson in typography via a nifty looking resume helper post:

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Customized Pop Up Ad Scare

I was totally scared by this phrase because for a second there, I thought the computer somehow knew I was procrastinating from my homework this morning! I had to take a screen shot!

Unhappy Hipsters

Daddy was making them watch yet another documentary on the  impact of Bauhaus on American architecture. Photo: Marc Seelen, Dwell, September 2008)

"Daddy was making them watch yet another documentary on the impact of Bauhaus on American architecture."

It's kind of boring but the pictures are that the point? I like their logo. Personally, I do not know any hipsters that are this rich, every single one on that blog lives in a giant house with a nice kitchen.


Rock N Roll Winter - Wizzard

HOLY. SHIT. This May Very Well Be THE Weirdest Thing I've Ever Seen. Just wait till he starts playing the VACUUM. Yes, you read that right, you saw it right...what. the. fuck. According to the Wikipedia entry, he was CoFounder of Electric Light Orchestra and left because after the first album he and Jeff Lynn were at odds! Holy shit, I love ELO so much but now I really want to hear the album he is on...

That all being said, I think next time there's an opportunity to paint my face, I'm totally painting it like this guy. I also wonder if the inspiration for the "Spider" character in the episode of The Mighty Boosh "The Priest and The Beast" was this be the judge:

Update: Bought a best of Roy Wood and Wizzard on amazon for like 8 bucks and then I found out their band before ELO was called "The Move" and the wiki entry said something about it never making it to the US really, so I bought that too, and I haven't skipped any tracks yet. I'm just glad I have some good music for my rock n roll winter, I haven't been outside my apartment all day.

Althotas Appeasal

I took these pictures of my friend and faithful reader Althotas so many months ago I actually had to look up which Full Moon Fiasco it was from, and he's been asking me when I'm gonna post these, and I've only returned with empty promises...UNTIL NOW. I give you, ALTHOTAS!!!!!!!!!!!

The prerequisite of the night was that in order to be able to hang out with him and ask him questions, he got to spit pig's blood on you first. Here's some friends from the bike ride who excitedly (and wastedly) complied.

This action shot exactly captures a moment that was VERY SWIFT...he was spitting from bottom to top, and it was like, a I have no idea how I caught it mid air but pre spatter or splat on dude's stomach. Mind Boggling.

This guy came to ask us for money and so Joe decided to freak him out instead. He quickly was like "man, you should get to the hospital or somethin..."

BTW, I did not get pig's blood spit on me. Althotas may be metal beyond belief, and he may love to party, but he is also quite the gentleman when it's appropriate. There are a few more pics here, FTW.


SO many versions of this favorite is the Fairport Convention one.


Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you THE CATORIALIST, it's like THE SARTORIALIST, only with CATTITUDE!

So, if you've ever read my blog before, you know that I actually blog about cats so much that I might as well just rename the goddamn thing to pertain to cats and call it a day, but I was kind of in denial until I got a tag cloud...I can also tell when I am not posting enough because fellow bloggers and friends who read will start emailing me stuff about cats, as if to say "Where have you been? :( We miss you." and offer up some cat related material as a peace offering.

I am a sucker for things that change already existing things to pertain to cats. I'm still laughing over CATS FOR GOLD, yet I still regret buying "Your Cat's Just Not That Into You" every time I see it on my bookshelf. I even wanted to do a music project at about age 20 where I did cover songs, but changed all the important words to pertain to cats wherever possible, and still kind of want to do that project, or at least make a skit about it and post it on YouTube. Just FYI.

Found out about this via my newly rediscovered friend from high school, Leah, who did not recognize me when I saw her over break (not a big deal btw) and whose boyfriend was the one who shook my hand goodbye and apologized for being so mean to me in high school, which I only mention now because I posted about it before. That, and I don't actually remember him being that mean except when he started dating this frienemy girl in our art class. I kinda always just thought I wasn't punk enough for his DK backpatch, but I was probably just annoying. Leah's now in my blogroll, and I in hers.

My morning.

I woke up to everything with a little sharper senses. The light coming through the window was brighter (probably because of refracting off the snow) and I could hear my neighbor's alarm clock (which was the annoying beep beep kind but I was relieved in the sense that something would have to be that loud in order for us to hear one another-- I'm always worried my music might be up too loud) and there was an entire flock of birds having a yelling match, all while the garbage truck came.

The question is: Despite all that, Why am I so chipper?
Maybe it is from listening to this song:

I'm not sure I've never gone on about how much I love Arthur Lee and LOVE and how much I'm still pissed at my parents for not letting me go see him play in 2002 when he had a full band playing the entire FOREVER CHANGES ALBUM (which had just been remasterd/re-released) and my parents were all like "Every show you want to go to is 'the end all be all most important of shows to go to or else you might die, Heather. Go do your homework." I guess they didn't realize that I pretty much thought that showgoing was the highlight of why it is cool to live in the OC, and I wasn't gonna do my homework anyway. When he died I definitely cursed silently to myself and was like, "yeah, that's right, mom and dad, who's right now?"

Jealousy is an Ugly thing

I wish that there was a video version anywhere of the Sylvie Vartan solo version of this really creepy English song she sings called "I'm Watching You"...I've had her stuff on my iPod for years (she's a French singer for those that don't know) and then one day this popped on the shuffle and CREEPED ME THE FUCK OUT! I can't tell if it's creepier as a duet or as a solo song. Think of me when you listen to it...are the hairs on the back of your neck standing up yet? [WHAT ABOUT NOW? ]

I mean, doesn't she just look like she's about to become your batshit crazy ex girlfriend? You wanna know how she became your girlfriend in the first place though? [BECAUSE OF SEXY PORNO SOUNDING HITS LIKE THIS] and [awesome covers of American hits] Just kidding about the crazy girlfriend thing, but what a funny picture! Enjoy the jams!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Deep cat thoughts in the kitchen

Sometimes chilton stares off into space and it makes him look like an angsty person with too much on his mind.

On a totally unrelated note I just made this sauce for my leftovers that was comprised of wasabi, durkee's mustard sandwich spread stuff, and this salad dressing I made a while ago with like lemon, honey, olive oil, and sriracha rooster sauce in it, and It was so spicy but good I was like choking, crying, and scarfing all at the same time. This is what I saved the last bit of milk before bed for. Wheew!

this feels a little irresponsible...

I think I let myself get hacked while I was drunk. :( I hate having to change my passwords.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SINGIN IN THE BATHTUB by R. Crumb and An Elaborate Ode to My Friend Pokey LaFarge

I bought this record for Xmas last year for my friend Stephen because he only has an iron clawfoot tub, he doesn't have a shower, so I thought it would be like the next best thing to buying him Bert & Ernie's "Rubber Duckie"...I could never find it anywhere, but years ago my friend back in CA had burned me this CD (which I found VERY hard to find on LP vinyl...I had to buy a version that was signed by every band member EXCEPT R. Crumb) and I always giggled at this song, I like it a lot. I just bought it for $7.99 on Amazon mp3 download.

I really really really want Pokey LaFarge and The South City Three to learn this song, I told him by tagging Pokey in a facebook note. Friends over at All Along Press on Cherokee Street did the original printing of his absolutely adorable album artwork for "Beat, Move, and Shake", which depicts a puppy that dresses like Pokey.

The album was put out by STL's own Big Muddy Records, which I'm not sure if they are putting anything out anymore, but I know I went to a party that was to "Save Big Muddy Records" in late Summer or early fall, a few months after their super fun Big Muddy BBQ [you can see my awesome pics from 2009 and 2008 BBQs] in Tower Grove Park. My neighbor Doormat's band The Rum Drum Ramblers (who I'm going to see tonight after class) has an album out with them too. He pays my landlords a small fee to rent an off-street parking spot for his car (that I don't remember the make of, but there are stickers that spell out 1970 in the window) that he hasn't worked on in a while, but I keep an eye out for him; I called he and his awesome girlfriend Jenn to let them know that the cover either blew off or someone took it off the other week, and they called to thank me, and I felt like such a good neighbor. I love my neighborhood.

But back to Pokey-- Taylor loves Pokey's music and outfits and she always says his name in the cutesiest tiniest lovingest voice. Although Pokey and his South City Three (Ryan, Adam, and I think the other one's name is Joey maybe but I forget*) are constantly on tour, it's always nice to see them here at home in good ol' STL. I always seem to run into them at weird places like the gas station before they drive to an out of town show and then they say something cute like "darlin" and then I have to text Taylor to tell her I wish she were there with me to run into them.

I put a Pokey song on the mixtape I mentioned a few posts ago, it's called "Going Back (Baby to Loving You)" and my favorite lyrics in it are as follows:

It was so cold outside when I heard whistle blow
I cried so much my tears turned into snow
Good winter jam, right?

Here is a video of Pokey (and Ryan) being interviewed in a pretty casual setting:

Who doesn't love a good banjo player who can play a good song about rainbows? Basically, you should love him as much as you love Kermit the Frog.** I'll leave you at a full circle, Pokey covering an R. Crumb song about rainbows:

*but I should know because in Summer of 08 Trashley, Rose, and I had a majorly awesome jam with Adam and Joey on her porch after a long night! I still really want a washboard with lots of beer caps loosely nailed to the side of it, I was really awesome at playing it (I blame my nails, but Ashley told me I should play percussion more often, which I secretly wish I'd learned years and years ago) and I still want one of my own... By the end of the night I think we had made a fake band to name our jam session and photo shoot, and if I'm not mistaken, that was the origin of Babe City-- Mayor Trashley can neither confirm nor deny this at this time. I work for her store on Friday, I'll ask her.

**When I woke up this morning, I watched a video of Kermit the Frog and Debbie Harry singing Rainbow Connection, and I almost cried I loved it so much...I was super obsessed with Blondie since about 3rd grade on...[WATCH]

Chilly in the Snow

Today while homeworking I got excited over the snow day and decided to bring Chilton outside. He usually acts really weird when he gets outside, but he likes it and he doesn't run away, so I'll take him out in the field next to my house (plus, this isn't weird because there are AT LEAST 5 cats that get walked ON LEASHES in my tiny neighborhood, I'm not shitting you) and he'll play outside and then he'll be all like "NooOOOoooOOo" and like do everything in his power not to get shoved back in the door, but too bad because he is an indoor cat.

Anyways, he got REALLY WEIRDED OUT by the snow, I think he liked it but didn't know why it was cold or why he was getting wet or why his fur was getting fucked up, basically a plethora of feelings that were new and worrisome and I filmed his panic haha. Then my not-totally-unattractive-but-maybe-always-stoned mailman showed up and I felt like a big weirdo and ran inside. It's actually a super boring video but it's only 15 seconds and I'm all into uploading videos to YouTube now, so I promise I'll get over the initial excitement soon. Maybe.

Here is a more interesting snow video:

Motion Lamps that I own

I was texting my friend Allie in CA today and she was saying she wanted to make her bf (who is roommates with the dude I'm all about) a motion lamp like they have at the Museum of Jurassic Technology (one of my favorite places ever) for Valentine's Day and I was like "uh I have a lot of those" and it wasn't until I texted her pictures of each of them that I realized that I have one in every single room of my apartment except the bathroom and my back storage porch. So let's break this down:

This one came to me like all the other shit with deer and unicorns on it that people buy for me for gifts. I think it was a 22nd bday gift when my friend Anya was studying abroad in Utrecht. I used to keep it on so much that the lightbulb burnt out and only after that did I realize that there doesn't seem to be any apparent way to change it, but it looks SO cool when it is on, so I'm sad you can't see.

This one I never plug in because it makes annoying bird noises:
Kitchen: this one is super rad because it is both a rotating fiber optic thing on top, and a motion lamp on the bottom, but again, I used it so much there are all sorts of things that are hit or miss for being operational, and I just don't keep it plugged in anymore.
And finally, the one in my bedroom. My nightlight. Thank you, Walgreens impulse buy! At first I thought it was lame because they are butterflies and I was SUPER MEGA obsessed with butterflies in middle school, like every piece of clothing I owned required that I have at least maybe 3 butterflies on me at any given time, butterfly hair clips were big then. So since I'm kind of embarrassed for going through that phase, I was kind of embarrassed by this lamp. Then I started using it and it is just the right amount of light, maybe a little less than I'd want for optimal reading, but it's good for everything else.
And those are my motion lamps! I didn't think it was fair to include my fiber optic ones (aside from the one that is the combo) or my LED color changing ones, but there's always another day.
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