Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Get ready for maybe the most pointless movie review ever..

Bob seger's "Night Moves" and Rod Stewart's "young hearts beat free tonight" just woke me up on my alarm clock and I think I can already hear my upstairs neighbors (one or both of whom seem to also be some sort of students who keep strange hours of coming home and doing laundry at weird times during the day) hating the next hour when my radio is on so I actually stay awake because for some reason I felt it necessary to stay up extra extra late to watch and finish this stupid "American Pie: Book of Love" movie that was on comedy central last night....how many of these movies have they made now?
Now I think I might remember where I recognize the name of the star of the movie....Bug Hall... He was Alfalfa in the 1994 Little Rascals movie!!!! My love! I guess that goes to show that they are still casting people in their early mid 20s as teens in movies?
  
  
His mom was played by Rosanna Arquette (I am a sucker for any Arquette) and somehow Eugene Levy was arbitrarily placed in this movie with little to no regard to the fact that uh, hasn't he been the mainstay in ALL the American Pie movies? I guess this is what they are good for, hiring forgotten child actors and their awesome adult actors whose cameos will hold your attention when the plot gets boring...

Also, when the awkward Jewish chubs kid was (successfully!) professing his love to the trophy popular girl on the ski trip, he mentions in his speech of "loving her for HER" that he remembers her lip-syncing to "Hey Ya" by Outkast in the 6th grade talent show and although now that seems so long ago and I actually realize that I may have only been in 8th or 9th grade even though last night while watching this I was like "Well I feel old, that song did NOT happen that long ago! Wow!"
I guess the fact that I snuck into the first American Pie movie in middle school (and being transfixed by the fact that the all-grown-up actor from time travelin kid in the early 90s release "A Kid in King Arthur's Court" was so unabashedly dedicated to learning how to give flawless oral sex to the now very gross and permadrunk Tara Reid...sorry, TMI?) and then subsequently making a bazillion of these movies with a rotating cast just makes me feel a little too old for these movies now. But hey, I gotta keep up on my culturaly references for when I talk to my teenage cousins and nephews, right? Ps- Has anyone actually seen one or more of these pictured below? Can anyone attest to the fact that they somehow magically come up with a new type of vaginally textured food for the main man to have sex with in each one?

Monday, November 29, 2010

this reminded me of that: I love weird voices

I was watching an episode of Cheers and this character "Loretta" really reminded me of the same voice as Brittany from the animated series Daria. You see for yourself:

Loretta's the ex wife that's blonde...


She's the cheerleader...




look at 2:50 to see Brittany in the musical episode:

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Bratz Top Model

The other day I was on someone's flickr and I came across this picture of a Bratz doll laid out in a magazine cover style and remembered an old post where I'd found a bunch of videos of girls reinacting America's Next Top Model with their Bratz dolls. It's pretty funny. A lot of the ANTM ones are removed by the user but it looks like the girl who I liked her videos the best (a lot of them didn't have audio or were captions instead of voice overs and so they were kinda boring) but this one is hilarious. I think now that this is the second time I've come across this I'm going to subscribe to this girl's Youtube channel, It looks like she's moved on to Project Runway.

My friend Switchblade's webcomics are cool and you should read some of them





My friend Switchblade makes webcomics that are pretty cool and I really like the way the speech bubbles are people's giant mouths with words in them, it kind of makes me laugh even when they aren't saying anything that's supposed to be funny. YOU CAN READ THEM HERE.

Single Topic Blog Alert: DAMN YOU, AUTOCORRECT!

This is fucking hilarious because it happens to me often, and lately if I catch them I might just start leaving them for a laugh. Just what I need, more reasons to take screenshots of things on my phone. KOOK CHUBBIES! (cool bitches!) 
See the site: DAMN YOU, AUTOCORRECT!


DON'T BELIEVE A WORD

I've been listening to this Thin Lizzy Jam a lot lately I love it and wish I could sound as cool as the guy in Thin Lizzy when I learn all the words and sing it because I can already tell that I am going to listen to it that much.

Can't stop thinking about that little kitty

I'm having such a hard time resisting the urge to bug my friend to hang out with his new kitten, especially since the first night I met her I got to try to put her on our other friend's giant dog (both pictured) wearing a hat that is the same print as the little gal! I really like playing FETCH with her even though every time I hang out I try to do something horrible and not fun to her like try to put her in my cowboy boot for a picture...I must do this before she gets too big. I have never wanted to catsit but now I totally do.

Don't Judge the 7th grade me where I thought it was cool to be conceited, please.

I had it in mind to never let these things leave my apartment so I can read them to people that come over recycling bin but also halfway wanted to scan them in, all while fully disgusted that I ever thought it was cool to have life goals like "be popular" and think inciting envy was a good thing that made you rise to the top. I blame my cousin Lindsy (who I partly started going by my middle name because she's one of my favorite cousins and the idea that there would be two Lindsy Donahues in the same family was just toooo much for me to not SWF it! JK! Go watch her puzzling music video I posted a bit ago please, LMK what you think SRSLY) mostly because she showed me how to wear a shit ton of makeup and watch Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Can't Hardly Wait, She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, and probably the most influential on this particular attitude: Jawbreaker.



Jawbreaker is actually still a really great movie but seeing it now and seeing it at age 12 are two different things. The idea of being a "fabulous four" popular girl with awesome outfits just was so sparkly, and I think the line where the girl that becomes "Vylette" recalled Liz Purr "ruling with kindness" was intensely goal inducing for me. Middle school was going to be DIFFERENT, because there would be so many more kids from other elementary schools that wouldn't know how much everyone picked on me! There would be boys! Oh god, I feel so embarrassed even recalling this, but I mean I guess the reason we all hate teenagers is because we all hated ourselves when we were their age! Note to self: email mom to have her scan in my 7th grade school picture. To give you a mental picture, I look kind of like season 1 Emma from Degrassi The Next Generation. Also, I will later scan in and post the picture of me at age 14 wearing a tank top that has rhinestone letters that say "SEXY" and a rhinestone necklace that says "FOXY" (and snarling at my brother for taking the picture) that also is totally embarrassing but hilarious in retrospect.

So now that you have an idea of what mindset to think about these in, I give you the scans of these doodles I found in a box for a game called Malarky (I'm the only one that seems to think it's fun) I got, note the dates on the papers, the invoice scrap piece of paper I used as the backside (the HARD DRIVE SIZES WTF?!!?), the ever changing AOL screenname, the experimentation with the unique spelling of my name, the fact that I wanted a pager WITH a digital display so you can send your BFF messages like 143 (which somehow means I HEART YOU! and I still don't really get it) and that little fairy butt that I drew. ENTER THE MILLENIUM, let's party like it's 1999:


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Piet Mondrian Style Nails



I painted my nails like Piet Mondrian paintings. While searching for his paintings on the internet I actually came across another girl's blog who painted famous artworks on her nails also and I think I did a way neater job (excepting smudges already incurred in one day of wear) if I'm allowed to brag for a second, but I take pride in my nail painting hobby. Woah check out this Mondrian bathroom on Apartment Therapy! I am totally going to make bad art history quiz jokes to my art history professors at my Wild Turkey family party tonight and it is going to be awesome! HA! WHAT YEAR WAS THE PAINTING ON MY MIDDLE FINGER MADE, JEFF AND DOUGLIS? Slide library THIS! Just kidding, I will not be that mean. Maybe. It depends on how liquored up they get me. Here are some of the paintings I looked at while I was painting them yesterday:



Tuesday, November 23, 2010

KITTY DISCO!

My friend Kat from middle school in Reno sent me a friend request on facebook and she had this on her tumblr, which I think will give me a great insight into a culture that I don't know much about but think is funny. This reminds me that when we were in middle school, there were all these teen magazines I had chronicling how to dress like strawberry fuzzy shortcake shirt rainbow brite and what P.L.U.R. means (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect...) and I guess it does not surprise me that she's involved in the revival of rave culture. Do you think we can make this happen for Thanksgiving? Only sort of kidding.

Friday, November 19, 2010

BIG COOL ART EVENT THIS WEEKEND IN ST LOUIS

Some of my friends organized this amazing sounding art show that's a weekend long only event, tonight 11/19/2010 from 7-10 pm is the opening, and tomorrow it's open from noon-5 pm and from 1-2 pm there's a mimosa toast and "inspirational sing along" which I don't think has anything to do with church, but the show is incidentally called "Sweet Jesus" which they decided to call the show based on some wall graffiti within the space. I want to see friends there! COME OUT! If you want to see more about it from people who took more time to write about it, go to St Louis Art Maps write-ups about it [here].
OH YEAH, they built a website for the show as well so Czech It!

Why you gotta be so chubs and loungey?

Nailz that look like Toyz

I painted my nails with a bunch of new Kiss brand nail art tiny brush stripers and then I got to use my awesome matte top coat from Essie. I'd been waiting to buy it forever since it's pricey but it's so awesome it makes everything I paint on my nails look like a KidRobot toy! I'd put off posting the pictures since the only ones I took were when they were all messy after I painted em but now they're chipping soooo...

An End To Boredom

The other night I was looking through this book my friend Matt in class had brought in to show me that was a collection of images taken from this underground magazine called EXIT, and came across this section where they'd devoted whole issues filled exclusively with content where they'd asked their usual slough of collage artists and stuff to pick a Nietzsche quote and make an image based on or illustrating the quote, but I came across this image and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was photographer Richard Kern! They also put out a similar issue only with Charles Manson quotes, and Richard Kern also submitted to that one; the resulting image is a little more grim, see below the Nietzsche one.

Long island Arch

So after my friend Julie and I left our friend Jake's house after our awesome downtown night bike ride, I stopped by my friend Ann Hubbard's house to see how the finishing stages were on her PBR fauxto-booth for this saturday's pbr me in St louis event at 2720 cherokee thrown by STL's own Dave Aholt who works for Pabst Blue Ribbon, and I've got to say, it looks like it's going to be a blast to pose with! Also, Ann got this free bottle of like insta long island iced tea from work bc her manager realized it was never going to sell, and I took a picture bc the packaging only reminds me of 80s TShirt graphics, like this windsurfing t my brother has had since he was little, or the "DON'T HASSLE ME, I'M LOCAL" TShirt from the Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss movie 'What About Bob?' that I've always wanted...baby steps.

Ps- did you see my nail polish? I keep forgetting to post the pic of them after I painted them.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Leafy greens do not make a sexy outfit!

Don't you hate it when people try to make vegetables look sexy like in this junk in my inbox today? It's like when Pamela Anderson donned a (apparently poorly photoshopped) cabbage or lettuce bikini for a PETA ad.... they think they look sexy but they really just look like Cabbagehead from Kids in the Hall, and we all know he can't get laid...compare for yourself...

Single Topic Blog Alert: BABES WITH BEERS IN THEIR BOOBS


I also cannot wait to submit to this one. You better watch your rack if you're drinking with me and my camera's out!
BABES WITH BEERS IN THEIR BOOBS
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