Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year

I recently reconnected with an old friend who told me she's lucky she's not in jail for the stuff she did to me before she moved away to rehab and got sober (she's right, but amends and forgiveness don't have to come til later, we're just taking it slow and keeping it light because we just started talking again for the first time in about a year) and it's her birthday today. So, in honor of her bday and her love for sassy funny black women, I made this animated gif from "Mo'Nique: I Coulda Been Your Cellmate" after I watched the tearful but intriguing "Mo'Nique: Behind Bars" where she interviews ladies locked up who all sound like they have had a LOT of therapy in prison...that part is great and tear inducing and touching, but is it fucked up that I thought the loving supportive Mo'Nique was funnier during this than most of her standup performance? She wears a ridiculous blanket on her lap like FDR and cries a lot and assures things like "I'm right here wichyoo baby" and "sexual abuse is a BITCH" and gives a ton of advice and walks toward the camera like the host of "Unsolved Mysteries" and I don't know why that all makes me laugh. I hope are as good as the birthday flowers she got from another friend yesterday.

PS- how ridiculous and simultaneously amazing is that bedazzled and shredded prison jumpsuit?

PPS- I'm pretty sure that in the clip I took this from she is making a joke about the inmates getting a ticket for havin sex with theyselves and how could they prevent us from touchin owselves and then she goes, "WE WOMEN ARE SEXUAL BEINGS!" while shaking it and saying things like "bitch, I see you, bitch" so many times that Ann and I determined there would be NO WAY to count how many times she says bitch. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have fun at your ghetto NA dance and take pics! I almost photoshopped the birthday girl's face onto Mo'Nique because I think she'd appreciate that I think if she put on a fat suit and blackface, she'd basically be Mo'Nique.

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